My Guide to the Best Halloween Costumes this Season

Well, it’s that time of year again–Halloween. The night where it is suddenly acceptable to call lingerie a costume and/or to eat literal pillowcases full of candy solo. It’s already October 27th, but just in case you haven’t fully figured out your costume yet, here are some ideas that are sure to wow ’em (whether that’s your party peers or children trick or treating at your doorstep). Wanna be classic? I’ve got that. Wanna stay on trend in an ever-changing fashion world? I’ve got that too! Look no further for your Halloween needs than this comprehensive list of the season’s best hidden costume gems.

Madilyn’s Guide to the Best Halloween Costumes This Season

  1. A Roll of Toilet Paper
    You’ve seen the mummy costume. Now get ready for it’s utilitarian cousin–the toilet paper roll! It’s essentially the same costume, admittedly. Simply dress in brown (you are the cardboard here) and wrap yourself in your favorite toilet paper! (I prefer two-ply.) Not only is this costume nice and comfy, but think how creative you’ll seem when people ask, “Oh, are you a mummy?” and you blow their minds with your response. Bonus: If you’re tending to the trick or treaters this year and you’re looking for a healthy alternative to candy, keep the motif going and hand out mini packs of tissues! You’ll be the talk of the neighborhood and parents will love you–happy flu season!
  2. A Pretzel
    If you’re going for a sexy costume look this year, have I got a suggestion for you. Stay with me now–this look can be hard to pull off, but it will totally be worth it when the fellas think of the contorting and yoga themes associated with a pretzel. That’s right, you’ll be dressed as an edible pretzel, but metaphorically you’ll be referencing the pretzel pose! MAJOR CREATIVITY POINTS! So here’s what you’ll need: all brown clothing and white cotton balls (or if you prefer, and are committed, real salt). Simply dress, affix cotton balls to your person, and start contorting! Could there be anything sexier?!
  3. A Potato
    I know what you’re thinking–another food? Or what you may (and should) also be thinking–another sexy costume?? The answer is yes, as I understand that contorting may not be within everyone’s physical realms of possibility. For this costume (my personal favorite of the list, by the way), you’ll still need brown clothes, but this time focus on making them baggier. Next, wrap yourself from the waist down in tin foil (bonus: you’ll shine so bright, no one will be able to miss you!). Finally, decorate yourself with whatever toppings you please–that’s right, you’re a “Make Your Own Potato” (innuendo intended)! Extra points if you let people slather butter on you.
  4. Rihanna
    If you’re going for a more relevant/on trend costume, look no further than Rihanna, Queen of Fashion’s Most Daring. Here, we’re looking to evoke her now iconic Grammys look with a similar one. (see below)

    Rihanna in Giambattista Valli Couture at the Grammys 2015
    Rihanna in Giambattista Valli Couture at the Grammys 2015
    A cupcake
    A cupcake

    Let’s face it: none of us have anything Valli-esque in our wardrobes (although, I suppose I don’t know who this blog reaches, maybe you do; if so, I won’t ask how you got it). So why not model the costume after something closer at hand?  Simply dress in neutral colors from the waist down and wear a pink tutu around your neck. Violá! Bonus: Make it a party game by letting your friends toss sprinkles on you!

  5. A Katy Perry Shark
    If Halloween is going to be a bit chillier where you are, stay bundled up and cozy in a look that’s as funny as it is fierce! This year at the Superbowl, Katy Perry wowed us all, not just with her musical talent and snazzy outfits, but also with her backup dancers–two sharks who, let’s face it, stole the show.

    Katy Perry performing at the Superbowl 2015 in Moschino
    Katy Perry performing at the Superbowl 2015 in Moschino

    Go watch the video if you’re unfamiliar with it, but if you want to stay warm and still amaze on October 31st, you can order one of these bad boys on Amazon (who put it perfectly in calling these shark suits FINtastic).

  6. Donald Trump
    And finally, if you REALLY want to make a statement this season, why not go as the man who has made the most this year? Stuck on just how to nail the look? Here it is in a few simple steps. First, put on a suit. It doesn’t have to be particularly nice, as people may throw food at you if you get this look right. Next, get a wig reminiscent of a blonde baseball mitt. No need to invest in wig glue or anything like that–just slap it on. The next step is optional: either visit a tanning salon and ask for “Oompa Loompa”, or simply paint your face a nice shade of orange. Finally, furrow your brow and yell at people. Don’t worry about what to say either! What you say doesn’t need to make sense for you to get this costume right!

I hope you have found this list helpful as Halloween steadily approaches. Whether you’re trying to garner creativity points, stay warm, be a popular parent in your neighborhood, or attract some attention without being too uncovered, I truly tried to fulfill everyone’s needs. Remember to stay safe this Saturday, and Happy Halloween!

Submitted with undying love for,
Halloween, Halloween in New Orleans, 2 nights of Halloween, and the fact that one of my costumes includes a tutu obviously,
I remain Madilyn Jayne Turken

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