Category Archives: rant

Please Pour Out Your Bomb Water

Greetings from beautiful Kauai, Hawaii! The sun is up, the sky is blue, and my God, is it nice to have arrived and gotten off of that darn plane! Getting up at  4:45 in the morning to catch a 6:50 flight for two hours followed by a plane change and a five and a half hour flight, descending into a sticky hot expanse of baggage claims and car rentals, and driving a confusing thirty minutes to a hotel was not exactly as fun as it is now that we are here and lying on palm tree lined beaches. As my mom so eloquently put it to our flight attendant while begrudgingly handing over her credit card for in-flight fruit and cheese plates (no meal on a 5.5 hr. flight?!), “It used to be such a pleasure to fly”.

Yes. It did used to be such a pleasure to fly.

Well, I assume. I am only seventeen, so really, I wouldn’t know. I DO know, however, that the glamorous pictures of celebrities and wholesome families boarding planes in the 50s and 60s look a lot more fun than the stressful experience it is now. Between waiting in lines, getting through a grueling security check, and making it to your gate, onto your plane, and into a seat on time (with carry-ons properly stowed and seats in their full, upright positions), flying anywhere is just painful. I certainly think that when the Wright brothers invented the airplane, they were not anticipating for someone to use it to make a bomb out of toothpaste.

I mean, no liquids? Seriously? You’re telling me I can bring 3.4 ounces of lotion on the plane, but any extra ounces are dangerous? You’re going to pat me down and wipe my hands with weird wipes because I’ve obviously hidden gunpowder in the folds of my hands? I have to empty my water bottle just to rid it of my homemade explosive-ridden water, but I am perfectly welcome to fill it with safe water after security? What if I know how to make a weapon with water? Because if I did, I could sure as hell do it with the airport water. I’m no scientist, but I bet it could be done.*
*By the way, if TSA is reading this, I promise I can’t do that.

And what’s with the cell phone rule? What does airplane mode even do?? I mean, I put mine on airplane mode, but honestly, I’m only doing it because it conserves the battery. Because if the systems of a giant Boeing aircraft can be tampered with simply by my phone being on, I think we have bigger problems. Plus, what about that guy in 22B who already has huge headphones on and seems to be nodding off? Do you think he turned his devices on airplane mode? Is my safety dependent on him?

Oh, and is it really necessary for me to walk barefoot on the gross airport floor so that x-rays can check my shoes for National Security threats? I mean, I guess I get it, that seems a little more plausible than it hiding in my liquids, but even when I’m wearing sandals? Come on.

All I’m saying is, I want the image of those cute fifties kids being served glittering trays of goodies by a perfectly polished flight attendant. Not the screaming baby or the kid kicking my seat while I try to fall asleep and forget this horror. Whoever said it’s the journey, not the destination, clearly never flew on any major airline in post 9/11 America. It’s long, it’s stressful, and it’s riddled with weird security rules that don’t seem to be doing much.

And don’t even get me started on that airplane food.

Submitted with undying love for,
Hawaii, the many places one can apparently conceal a bomb, getting off of a plane, and the potential TSA agent reading this and doing a background check on me,
I remain Madilyn Jayne Turken

The Trouble with Teenagers

Here’s the thing.

You know those assumptions adults tend to make about teenagers? We’re all bad drivers. We’re irresponsible. We drink illegally and smoke drugs off the wazoo.  And don’t even get them started on our manners. You know what? They’re not true.

I mean, sure, those assumptions are all a little true. There are several teenagers who shouldn’t be driving, lots who drink/smoke, and tons who are irresponsible. But couldn’t the same be said of adults?

Ask any teenager–we are tired of being treated like a.) children, b.) felons, or c.) time bombs that are bound to go off at any second. We just want to be treated as people, and furthermore, as adults, if you could manage it, because for the most part, we act like it. And I would say that adults are starting to realize this. They are beginning to abandon their petty assumptions about our irrational behavior. But here’s where the trouble with teenagers flares up–someone goes along and proves one of those assumptions. Runs a red light, fails to study for a test, gets caught raiding the liquor cabinet, or disrespects authority. I don’t know, you name it, they do something to send adults’ trust plummeting once more.

As much as I want teenagers to prove their maturity, I just can’t uphold my faith in them when even a few do stupid things over and over again.

Example: Last night, someone (or a few someones most likely) came up my street and hit a few of the mailboxes with a baseball bat before moving onto a street a few blocks over from mine. Now of course, this could have been anyone. But–and here comes the trouble with teenagers again–how often have you heard of adults doing that? Smashing mailboxes with baseball bats is a crime that my generation thought of–those rascals.

Now once again, no one wants my generation to succeed and own up more than I do, but it is situations like this when I sigh and shake my head at the people I call my peers.

I would also like to take this time to address the mailbox whackers, not they will ever read this, I’m sure, but you never know. This shout out goes to those mindless behemoths who, instead of watching a movie or playing a quiet game of Monopoly or something (like a civilized person), decided, “Hey! I know what we can do! Let’s take this baseball bat and hit stuff! Other people’s property even!” probably met with choruses of “YEAH!!!!”.

Well. Thank you for, what, increasing the aesthetic beauty of our mailbox? Reminding us who’s boss? Exercising your swingin’ arm? Breaking in your new bat? Excellent work. You cracked our mailbox quite nicely! But next time you are feeling vapid and in need of entertainment, might I suggest playing with a ball of yarn or something instead? I’m sure that could fill the black hole in your brain just as well.

Submitted with undying love for,
acting like a mature human being, waking up to the police at my door asking about the value of my mailbox, and Generation X,
I remain Madilyn Jayne Turken


Why Do We Say That?

Wow, hi there! I know I’ve been saying this a lot but long time no see! Or long time no read…

This time I really have been absolutely ridiculously busy with….drum roll please…………..COLLEGE ESSAYS! *disappointed sigh from the audience* I really have been wanting to post more, but all of the writing I have been doing has been for colleges. However, today I put my foot down and reach into the furthest corners of my brain where perhaps some sanity and cohesive thought still lies in order to bring to you: Some Phrases and Stigmas That I Think Are Ridiculous and Should Be Rethought in Today’s Society! (Notice I shortened the title a bit at the top there!)

There are a lot of phrases, ideas, stereotypes, sayings, and expressions today that we say and hear and don’t think too much about. But a lot of them, if you think about it, don’t make a whole lot of sense. So here we go.

1. Sick as a Dog, Working like a Dog, and other expressions that have to do with dogs
Just one question: What?? What connection is there between being sick and dogs, or working and dogs. I happen to think dogs are just lovely creatures–why would working someone to death (there’s another weird and rather ominous expression) be compared to working them like a dog? That doesn’t sound too nice! And what, are dog sicknesses just so intense and so memorable for dog-owners that the saying has just stuck? If someone has a legitimate explanation, by all means, leave a comment or email me promptly.

2. I Can’t Hit a Girl
Oh, please. Fine, I’ll hit you!
Now let me be clear: I am in no way violent or prone to hitting, and everyone who knows me can attest that while I am sassy, sarcastic, and sometimes pessimistic, I would last approximately .5 seconds in a fight. So I am not, of course, encouraging hitting! Use your words! But that male stigma is just ridiculous: “If I beat her up, everyone will hate me because I hit a girl and if I let her beat me up, everyone will laugh at me because I got beat up by a girl!” There’s this great line in 22 Jump Street, said by the villain, but still. Jonah Hill and Channing Tatum are cops trying to bust a drug dealer, and one of the “bad guys” happens to be a girl. At the end of the movie, her and Jonah Hill are fighting, and she punches him in the face, urging him to hit her back. He insists that he is not going to fight a girl, and she shoots back with, “If you thought of me as a person instead of a woman, you would hit me and not feel bad about it.” While men should absolutely treat women with respect, men should also treat men with respect. Everybody should treat everybody with respect. But in situations of self-defense, or if a fight does break out, punch who you gotta punch! A girl is a person, not a separate class of human to be stepped around and not looked directly in the eye.

3. There are Starving Kids in Africa…
Hear me out.
Don’t you just hate it when you’re complaining about something, and someone pulls this card on you? Maybe you’ve used it too, but you’ve got to admit, when you hear this, you kind of want to tell the person to shut up. Now, I completely understand where it comes from; a lot of the time, especially here in the good ole USA, our problems are miniscule compared to the problems of other places/people. We should definitely be more grateful for what we have and have the ability to recognize when we are being selfish or ridiculous. However, that being said, everyone has their problems. Some are big, some are small, but no matter who you are or what your experiences have been, you will never fully understand what that person is feeling, and it is not okay to downplay what they are feeling. To say something along the lines of, “Stop being ridiculous, there are starving kids in Africa and you’re complaining about (fill in the blank)” is to say, as my friend Weldon so eloquently put it today, “Stop being so happy because someone else could be happier.” IS THAT NOT RIDICULOUS? You are allowed to be sad about whatever you want to be sad about! Your topic of choice may not be that big of a deal, true, and yes, if you are completely being a spoiled brat or throwing a fit over something unimportant, then someone should definitely put you in line. But generally, your problems are your problems, and you reserve the right to feel as upset about them as you want.

4. Number Three in Reverse
This, as you may have caught on, is not a saying, idea, or phrase. I mean literally, Number Three (See #3) in Reverse. Just as you are allowed to be upset about what you want, when you want, you are just as entitled to your own excitement. Isn’t is just the worst when you are excited about something–I mean really excited, stupidly excited, even giddily excited–and someone tells you that “It’s not a big deal” or worse, to “Calm down”? It’s awful! Like oh thanks for squashing my dreams! Don’t underscore other people’s successes or joys in life! Sorry that you aren’t looking forward to something like that person is or that you aren’t happy about something, but it’s not okay for you to tell them not to be enthusiastic about something for goodness sakes!

Jesus. Christ. This dumb. Thing. If you are not a part of my generation, this probably isn’t a problem for you, and it is starting to die down for my age group too, but it is still running rampant, and did for a while. Perhaps there are some of you who don’t know what YOLO stands for because you either A. are a hermit, B. are part of the “older” generation, or C. just got Internet, like, today (in which case, welcome to the Internet, congratulations on getting here, and thank you for visiting this site!). For those of you, YOLO stands for You Only Live Once. No duh, right? When this saying first started popping up, I truly was confused, and I was that kid saying, “Yeah. No way.” and “Wow, you mean you guys only live once? That’s rough, I live waayyyy more times than that pathetic number!” Furthermore, and here’s where it gets weird, this phrase sounds like kids are saying, “Take care of yourself! Wear your seat belt! Stay in school! Don’t do drugs! Cause you only live once!” But no. They are not saying that. They are really saying, “Hey, might as well try drugs! Might as well eat that doughnut! Might as well try cliff diving even though I have a faulty bungee cord! YOLO!” Ah, the logical and forward thinkers of my generation. I am truly proud.

So that’s all for now, since I do have to save some time for those aforementioned essays! I hope you have begun to rethink some of these weird and rather annoying stigmas and expressions, and perhaps started to come up with some more that just aren’t right! Remember! I still need an answer on that dog thing!

Submitted with undying love for,
applying to college (just kidding), but really not being able to wait until college, my lovely rants, blogging, free time, and you for sticking it out from my last post til now,
I remain Madilyn Jayne Turken

Terms of Ew-dearment

Good morrow, ladies and gents!

I apologize for my lack of posts recently. That is due partially to writer’s block, partially to a busy schedule, and, I regret to say, partially from summer laziness. But here I am with, basically, a new complaint! Sorry for the negativity, but here is today’s grievance: Terms of Endearment.

Let me explain. Terms of endearment–honey, sweetie, etc.–are fine (maybe…if you’re okay with it) if they come from parent to child, lover to lover, or sarcastically from friend to friend. However, they are in no way acceptable when passed from random adult to random kid. And by kid, I mean, more often, teenager.

Still confused? Here’s what I’m trying to say. I understand that when an adult refers to a child they don’t know as “sweetie” or “honey” or “hon”, it is usually because they don’t know what else to call them since they do not know the child/teen’s name. But to the said child/teen, it comes off as condescending and, frankly, gross. I am a sixteen-year old girl–woman, if you will–and, furthermore, I look it. Now, I can vaguely understand if the teenager looks genuinely young, but I, along with most, do not. I look at least my age, I am not your “sweetie”, and I will be treated as such.

Other teenagers will relate to this post the most, I think, because they get what I’m griping about. Young people spend years waiting to finally be treated like adults rather than children. Now this isn’t to say we don’t enjoy our youth and whatnot, but when we reach an age where we feel mature and ready to be treated, not necessarily as adults, but with respect, it is unbelievably aggravating to be referred to with  “term of endearment”. How often do you hear adults referring to other adults that way? Never.

So now that my grievances have been uttered and hopefully heard and understood, I can leave with a clear head. And, should you be an adult reading this, perhaps you’ll think twice next time you call a teenager “sweetie” or “honey”, unless, and only maybe unless, he/she is your own flesh and blood child. If not, well, “hey you” works just as well.

Submitted with undying love for,
respect, being treated my age, and complaining via the Internet,
I remain Madilyn Jayne Turken

What To Do When People Don’t Know What They’re Talking About

Hello friends!! How are you?? I am FABULOUS (my friend I talked about in that last post was FOUND and she is now home and safe and sound! haha that rhymed.). So I thought I would take a break from that whole sappy thing and go back to doing what I do best–ranting while simultaneously assuming I know best (about everything). This week’s rant is called: What to do when other people have no clue what the heck they’re talking about. I hope it proves useful to you the next time someone says something cringe-inducing, or otherwise dim (to put it nicely).

Now I know in this crazy, mixed-up world, there are lots of people who all have lots of different opinions. And everyone is entitled to their opinion–it’s just that theirs may be stupid. When confronted with a narrow-minded, haughty, and/or ridiculous individual, there are several approaches that can be utilized, and I will list them here in order of effectiveness in most situations, for optimum satisfaction (guaranteed or your money back) (just kidding, you didn’t pay me so you get nothing).

1. The Least Effective: Blowing Your Top
The “Blowing Your Top” approach may, and usually does, involve many cuss words, frantic gestures, or becoming red in the face (or blue, depending on your complexion I suppose). This form of argumentation is most often used among road ragers, drunks, and hillbillies (read rednecks) who may or may not be fond of guns. While this can be effective in an “oh crap, I better back down from this crazy person” kind of way, it can also be taken less seriously. It is seen, not as a good rebuttal of the stupid thing someone just said/did, but as a child throwing a temper tantrum. Not cute.

2. Moderately Effective: Obviously Irritated or Precisely Persuasive
These two go hand in hand as both being equally as effective in some ways and ineffective in others. The “Obviously Irritated” approach generally goes as follows: someone is dumb, you respond semi-calmly and with rational vocabulary that may contain some swear words (but they aren’t running quite as rampant as in approach #1), but you are quite obviously irritated. This  may not be as effective as  you tried to make it because it is simply a less intense version of #1. You may sound like you’re trying to be rational, but it isn’t working too well. The “Precisely Persuasive” people are interesting. This is the kind of argument that is well-structured, with impressive vocabulary, crafted arguments, and passivity. It is almost like an actual persuasive essay–effective except for the fact that you sound like an egghead. Also keep in mind–the insufferable fool to which your rebuttal is directed probably won’t understand anything you’re saying. Speaking slowly with smaller words is not only easier for them to comprehend, but can be more satisfying for you (and as an added bonus, it will infuriate your “opponent”).

3. The Most Effective: Calmly Sarcastic
As you may have guessed, this is my approach of choice. When someone says something utterly idiotic, I prefer to lay on the sarcasm like that road rager in #1 lays on the horn. However, it must be carefully done, or else you will seem like the “Obviously Irritated” arguer. With this form of comeback, you speak calmly and with seemingly no bias. It may include, and should include, large words (just not SAT egghead words). It is almost like the precise persuader, but not as meticulously crafted and with a clear opinion present, just not overwhelming. The sarcasm usually comes in at the end, where you can add in a “punchline” to make it clear you think they are moronic. This sort of response may look something like, “Well, sir/ma’am, thank you for sharing your riveting and important opinion. But it would be much appreciated if you would take your ignorance/negativity/etc. elsewhere.” and may end with something like “And I apologize of any of those words were too big for you” or “I realize it can be frustrating to live with fewer brain cells, but there are people who can get you the help you need” or something equally sassy. I also like to call this one “The Subtle Bitch”.

I hope you have made or will be able to make use of this carefully compiled guide. We all meet those out there who just are too insensitive or under developed to say anything intelligent, and that’s okay, as long as you know which approach to use in response. Find the one that works for you, and enjoy making people feel (more) ridiculous! And remember, forget the haters.

Submitted with undying love for,
biting sarcasm, devastating wit, and cutting edge sass,
I remain Madilyn Jayne Turken

P.S. I promise I am a nice person.

A Disorganized Rant on Feminism

Greetings friends! Salutations! Long time, no post!

I decided, since I have had a super rough week, that a bit of a rant is in order. So in this fun little virtual rant, I will be discussing the under estimation and under appreciation of women. Yay! Feminism! I’m basic!

Now I generally do not identify as a feminist, but I was having a discussion earlier with a friend of mine about it, and I have decided that you will put up with my temporary feminist rant, dammit! (Or, you will become annoyed with me and turn off your computer. Either one.)

If you have read the About Me tab on this blog, you have noticed that I love theater. I am super involved in theater at my school, but I don’t just act, I also do technical theater even more. I am on construction crew, so I build sets and move set pieces during scene changes in the show. In case you are wondering, no, our sets are not made of cardboard, Scotch tape, and Elmer’s glue. They are made of wood that we cut with a variety of large electric saws and put together with drills and screws. Sometimes we use metal, foam, and other materials and sometimes we use real drywall like in your house. Sets can often be 16 feet or so high. My point? It’s pretty legit.

So construction crew is made up of mostly males, with a pretty good amount of females, but I am one of only a few really dedicated girls on crew. Furthermore, although this is my eighth show on construction crew and I am one of two heads of the crew, a boy could come along for his first time on crew and it may as well be his twentieth. Girls are given easier jobs and it is assumed that we are incapable of doing anything requiring physical labor. Need to lift something? Oh gee, we better find some guys to do it! Wouldn’t want to have these sweet little girls pulling a muscle or something! Oh, you need a job? Um, why don’t you just help me hold this or go paint that. This is far too much work for you. I’m just trying to look out for you!


Here’s a headline: girls are just as capable, if not more capable, as boys in every subject area. Sure, maybe boys can occasionally bulk up more, play football better, lift more weight, and/or climb the rope higher in gym class. But if girls decided to work out as much or work on their strength training like guys did, we could just as easily do the exact same things.

The point is, if a girl is willing to help you lift that heavy thing, let her freaking lift it! Give her all the hard jobs! She is perfectly willing and able to do something and to be useful. You are not better. You are not stronger. There is no secret man quota that we missed.

I know it seems like I am just spewing hatred and indignation, which in a way, I am. But I think that despite all “progress” we have made towards “equality”, men are still appreciating women only for their sexiness. But we are strong, independent women who don’t need no men!

So, the next time you are about to under estimate and/or under appreciate a girl, don’t. Do not, under any circumstances, baby her. You are equals. And yes, I would like to lift that.

Submitted with undying love for,
disorganized rants, feminism, being a manly man, being a fierce and fiery woman, being basic, and saying screw you to men,
I remain Madilyn Jayne Turken



Hallway Horror

The following is a fun little paper I wrote for my AP English class in which we had to write an op-ed commentary. An op-ed is an article generally featured in a newspaper (OPposite the EDitorial) and is usually opinionated and not too long. So our assignment was to choose any topic we cared about and write an opinion piece. In case you haven’t noticed yet, I have a lot of opinions. So I chose a topic I was passionate about and tried my darnedest to write a great paper. I got a 90 on this one (thanks Mr. Mazenko) but I am still quite proud of it. So please enjoy! (By the way, I have changed the name of my high school in a lame attempt at keeping up a little anonymity in a scary online world.)

“Hallway Horror”

High school is full of hardships.

Between homework and tests, teachers and peers, high school is filled with emotions, drama, and difficult tasks. However, it seems to me, that the most taxing struggle of all–worse than memorizing vocabulary in a foreign language, more frightening than the common app–is walking in the hallway.

Yes, it may be logical to assume that the hardest challenges of high school occur in the classroom, but alas, it is the hall that really gets teenagers stumped. For whatever reason, high schoolers, especially those at Lincoln High School, are suffering from “Hallway Horror”, a gripping disease that impairs their ability to walk efficiently between classes. They are simply not grasping the concept of walking through the halls. What is this elongated room I am in? Where do all these doors lead? Which way is my class again? Wait, look! There’s my friend! Maybe I’ll stop and chat!

Sure, why not? Ignorance is bliss after all.

But how long can students remain utterly unaware that they are stopping traffic, that their social interactions are causing a blockage? I am all for being friendly, and of course school should not be getting in the way of these kids’ social lives, right? But teens should learn how to navigate their hallways, in order to maintain a happy, healthy high school career. So we will take this in three, simple steps.

Step 1: Pick up the Pace. High school is extremely stressful, and it is always nice to have a break in the day to stroll leisurely to the next class. However, how do you expect anyone to reach class on time if they are delayed by your laziness? And at a school with 3,600 students and 200 faculty members, maneuvering around you is rarely an option. Keep it brisk, ladies and gentlemen, and don’t be afraid to put the car in drive. Think the purposeful walk of a preschool line leader, not the easy gait of the McDonalds employee serving fries.

Step 2: Practice Safe Speeds. Now, I know I just told you to pick up the pace, and you should, but that being said, there is another important piece of knowledge every student must know: never run in the halls. This is not just a rule you heard shouted at you by a teacher as you rushed by them in middle school. This is a fundamental guideline for successful hallway navigation. While you should be walking with purpose, you should never need to run to reach your class. Each passing period is seven minutes long. 420 seconds. Even at Lincoln High School, an unusually large campus at 80 acres and four buildings, you will be on time without running – I promise. If you run, you may not only cause an accident, but you will look, quite frankly, like a disoriented and terrified freshman.

Step 3: Pull Over. The third, and possibly most important rule, applies to that ever so important social life of yours. When you see a friend in the hall, by all means, wave, say hi, make a hysterically awkward face at them as you pass each other (my personal go-to). But please, for the sake of hallway navigators everywhere, if you must have a conversation, pull over. If you stop in the middle of the hall to chat with your pals, you create a general confusion for the first few people behind you when you stop and also for those after them, who must stray from their path to get around. You and your buddy act as a giant highway divider that has been thrown across the middle of the actual highway. If your small talk is really important enough to warrant parking, please pull over first.

It is my sincerest wish that these steps will help high schoolers from all walks of life to navigate their halls – and their high school careers – more easily. If we all remember to pick up the pace, practice safe speeds, and pull over, we can avoid the hallway horror that affects so many high school teens today.

Submitted with undying love for,
opinionated articles, getting an A on this so it’s cool Mazenko, and not so subtle jabs at the kids in my school,
I remain Madilyn Jayne Turken

People Are Gay, It’s OK!

Lately, there has been one topic pretty prevalent in my mind: gay rights. This is probably because it’s been frequenting my tumblr a lot recently, and I’m sure I’ll either get a lot of love or a lot of hate (or both) for directly addressing this so soon, but I think it should be addressed. And I think this is the most eloquent photo I have seen with regards to gay rights (gay marriage in particular):


Cause seriously, sorry if you’re opposed to gay marriage, but why the heck are we debating laws about love? Why do people even still need to “protest this shit”? Shouldn’t it be a given that people get to marry who they love?
If you are opposed for religious reasons, then fine, YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE GAY. No one (unless they are a really weird kind of sadist or something) is going to force you to marry someone of the same sex if it’s against your religious beliefs, but why can’t others do it? Are we going to make a law banning the establishment of mosques or temples now because that’s against your religion too? An individuals’ religion should have no effect on the rights of a completely separate person.
Also, there are tons of people I’m sure you all love who are, in fact, gay–but opposers to gay marriage aren’t going to patronize them are they? For example:


Now if that’s not the picture of perfection, I don’t know what is. And I know you know who this is because even if you haven’t seen her talk show or the 86th Academy Awards, I know you’ve seen Finding Nemo. To hate gay people, you would have to hate the woman behind the Oscars pizza party or the most record-breaking selfie of all time or, dare I say it, the “just keep swimming” song.
And you know what? The list of smart, beautiful, incredibly talented individuals goes on. Neil Patrick Harris, Jodie Foster, Jesse Tyler Ferguson, Queen Latifah, Ellen Page, Raven Symóne, Elton John, and literally countless others deserve to keep their marriage their business. Think they’ll destroy that sacred institution? Here, have another relevant picture.


Now I know there are all kinds of people out there, and I am not saying that if you’re against same-sex marriage you’re a horrible person. I’ve just provided (hopefully) some food for thought. Do with it what you will.

Submitted with undying love for,
rants, Ellen, and all things flamboyant,
I remain Madilyn Jayne Turken